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I'm A Criminal!
By: Donna Worthy


 

 

 

I think we are all criminals in one way or another. Here is a funny list of laws that are actually still existent in the state of Maryland and Virginia

Maryland

Laws prohibit the selling of condoms through vending machines in gas stations and stores-with one major exception. Prophylactics mat be dispensed by vending machines only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises"

In Halethrope it is illegal to kiss for more than one second.

In Baltimore it is illegal to mistreat oysters.

It's not the maid! In Baltimore it is illegal to wash or scrub sinks, no matter how dirty they get.

In Baltimore it's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits. (Loony Laws" by Robert Pelton)

In Baltimore it's also illegal to take a lion to the movies. Could it have anything to do with them getting all worked up when that MGM lion starts roaring before the flick starts?

No person who is a "tramp" or "vagrant" shall loiter in any park at any time. They define tramp as a person who roves for begging purposes and a vagrant as an idle person who is able-bodied living without labor. It's a $50 fine. I guess the tramp would have to beg for the money to pay the fine. -Park Rule 6
 

It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.

You may not curse inside the city limits.

Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited.
 

Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.

You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.
 


Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.

Virginia

Not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, one may not have sex in any position other than missionary.

There is a state law prohibiting “corrupt practices of bribery by any person other than candidates.

You may not engage in business on Sundays, with the exception of almost every industry.

If one is not married, it is illegal for him to have sexual relations.

Driving while not wearing shoes is prohibited.

Police radar detectors are illegal.

Citizens must honk their horn while passing other cars.

No animal may be hunted for on Sunday with the exception of raccoons, which may be hunted until 2:00 AM.

No one may wash a mule on the sidewalk

A special license is required for persons wishing to sell such items as tableware and coins.

Spitting on a sea gull is not tolerated

Women must wear a corsette after sundown and be in the company of male chaperone

No person may keep a skunk as a pet

I think that is enough for all of us to just stay in bed. Can you imagine what life would be like if authorities actually enforced these laws. Ha, they think the jails are overcrowded now!


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I'm A Criminal!
By: Donna Worthy
   
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